Jack Vettriano Private Dancer

Jack Vettriano Private DancerJack Vettriano Portrait in Silver and BlackJack Vettriano pincer Movement
'Dean,' said Ridcully eventually, 'what have you done to your hair? It looks like a spike at the front and a duck's arse, excuse my Klatchian, at the back. And it's all shiny.'
'Lard. That'd be the bacon smell,' said the Lecturer.
'That's true,' said 'What did I just say?' he said.
'Have you been taking dried frog pills, old chap?' said Ridcully.
'Of course not, they're for the mentally unstable!' said the Dean.
'Ah. There's the trouble, then.'
The curtain went up or, rather, was jerkily pulled aside.
The Band With Rocks In blinked in the torchlight.
No‑one clapped. On the other hand, no‑one threwRidcully, 'but what about the floral smell?''mumblemumblemumblelavendermumble,' said the Dean sullenly.'Pardon, Dean?'‘I said it's because I added lavender oil,' said the Dean loudly. 'And some of us happen to think it's a nifty hairstyle, thank you so very much. Your trouble, Archchancellor, is that you don't understand people of our age!''What . . . you mean seven months older than me?' said Ridcully.This time the Dean hesitated.